Falling

July 7, 2021

A dialogue between the Good Shepherd and I. Words that helped me understand what it looks like to fall into place, not just fall apart. I hope they can find someone else to help. -Samantha

Colossians 1:17

“He is before all things, and in him, all things hold together.”

“He was there before any of it came into existence and holds it all together right up to this moment.”

Me: I hear you say, “Are things falling apart, or are they falling into place.” 

Shepherd: It’s important for you to understand this. The process of things falling apart. 

Me:What is it then? What is the process? How do I know the difference between falling apart and falling in place?

Shepherd: There isn’t one. They are the same. 

Me: I don’t get that. How are they the same?

Shepherd: Because in order for things to fall into place they must fall apart. 

Me: That's the only way?

Shepherd: That's the best way.

Me: Why is it so tragic when things fall apart then? 

Shepherd: Because they mean a lot to you. They were your “things” and you wanted them to work a certain way. 

Me: And I get frustrated when they don’t fall where I want them. 

Shepherd: I think you get frustrated when they fall where you didn’t expect them. I think you know deep down that where you want them to fall is where I want them to. Wherever it may be. 

Me: I always want what you want. And I trust you, I trust you the most, and I pray that I would have eyes that seek to trust you more in all things, and a heart that trusts boldly. Is it bad to be frustrated?

Shepherd: Is it bad to fight the world when you’re thinking too closely with it?

Me: Is that what I’m doing?

Shepherd: That's what frustration sparks. It’s the flint that starts the flame and causes a fire. A fire that consumes. 

Me: What does it consume?

Shepherd: Your idea of the “perfect place” for your things to fall.

Me: I hate that I have to fight perfection. 

Shepherd: Better you let the fire consume it then let it consume you. 

Me: I surrender my idea of perfection to you. 

Shepherd: Please don't worry, you know this way is the best. 

Me: I know, I think that’s why it’s hard. Because I know and I still need to be reminded everyday of your trust.

Shepherd: It’s better that you would be reminded than to fall with those things. 

Me: Have I not fallen with them? I feel like I fall every day. 

Shepherd: You fall, but not in the way you think.

Me: Then how? How do I fall?

Shepherd: You fall where I want you to. You fall in the space I have prepared for you.

Me: Where is that? 

Shepherd: In my hand. Sometimes you fall in the wrinkles of my palm and they feel deeper than other times. But know where you fall is where I want you to be, right where I am. 

Me: You are a good shepherd to catch me. You’re my catcher. 

Shepherd: I love this name you’ve given me. Let it be your lens this week, it will help you to trust me. 

Me: Thank you father. Thank you for catching all things. 

Shepherd: It is my delight to catch you, and them.

Simply Rest. A devotional for Port City Community Church

“In Matthew 11, Jesus tells us “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest.” A simple statement that I have over complicated by thinking it requires more than just being. 

When I think about the lessons that Jesus teaches us in scripture, He always simplifies what we complicate. Love, forgiveness, rest. 

Us: “How do I love my neighbor?”

Jesus: “Like you love yourself.” (Mark 12:31)   

Us: “How do I become forgiven?”

Jesus: “Forgive others.” (Matt 6:14-15) 

Us: “How do I receive rest?”

Jesus: “Come to me.” (Matt 11:28)

Since the idea behind it is so simple, we think it’s not enough. We think it’s not enough for us to just show up and rest, but really, that’s all He asks of us. I love that when Jesus gives us this answer of receiving rest, He is the actual answer. He doesn’t say, “You’re going to this place and do this task,” instead He says, “You’re going to come here and be with me.” 

How beautiful is it that we get to simply be with our God? More than that, He’s given us the opportunity to accept His spirit into our hearts so that we never have to go a breath without Him. We get to simply sit and talk and think and breathe with Him. He extends to us what we crave most in this busy world, simple and true rest. When the world says, “Go,” Jesus says, “Come.” 

The beautiful thing about rest is that it looks different for all of us. We are invited into this personal relationship with God, so we are also invited into personal rest with him. Sometimes this could be prayer and journaling, or it may be folding laundry, taking a walk through the neighborhood, or even fishing. 

There is no direct answer to achieving rest other than Jesus being present. This is by no achievement of ours, it is an undeserved gift that we get to accept and enjoy.  

Don’t over complicate the moments that have the potential for being restful. If rest requires us to go to Him and His spirit dwells in us, maybe remembering His name is the rest you need for today.”

Click here to read more about rest.

Fall: For Harvest (Reflection/Remembrance)

Autumn represents the preservation of life and its basic necessities. During this time, animals prepare for the Winter by storing food and creating cozy hibernation spaces, while farmers work on their fall harvest by collecting a reserve of crops.

This the Harvest season. The season of gathering that which you worked so hard for, remembering hard work and patience and getting to enjoy it. Leaves start to fall from trees and things begin to die. Harvest season and festivals revolve around the importance of food production and celebrate the work that went into it, finally paying off.

Fall can be discouraging for many people. They tend to either love Fall or hate it. Fall is like an in-between season to many, so most people tend to overlook it. The same thing happens to our hearts. When we find ourselves in “in-between” seasons we tend to overlook them. Looking over Fall to Winter, and most times it's not exciting. The idea of sitting inside all day because the weather is wretched haunts our minds more than the Halloween decorations we put up on our porches. Mix that with the dying leaves that flood our yards, it’s easy to look over Fall because of all the dreariness that lies on the other side of it. We dread the Winter ahead and all it does is fog our minds, so we’re not able to focus on the season we’re in.

Fall can’t be overlooked. We need Fall to remember where we were in our Summers and Springs and how the Lord grew us and provided. This season gives us a chance to reflect on his goodness and his beauty that works in us, but also in nature. I tend to think our hearts are more like trees than we think they are. We enter the cycle of seasons just like they do. Every Fall, pieces of us slowly begin to die like the leaves. They change color and loosen their grip on the branches and gracefully fall to the ground.

Fall is about reflecting on those beautiful leaves that grew on strong branches and the shade they provided for others. Maybe it's reflecting on the fruit that grew, that you’ve now harvested and already used, and you’re not sure what to do without them. Acknowledging their death for them to come back bigger and stronger than before is also necessary. The beautiful thing about death and fall is that it is beautiful. Nature does not die ponderously and neither do we, or the parts of us. Death makes way for something else to move in, perhaps grace, thanks, and forgiveness.

Fall isn’t a season meant to be a season for resignation, but a season of reflection and remembrance. The nights sneak up quicker, the cold weather creeps in faster and it’s easy for us to become bitter or lost because of it. But I don’t think those thoughts or feelings help heal our hearts as much as reflection and remembrance do. Maybe the sun setting faster is what causes us to head home and spend more time writing out our thoughts and reflecting on the past season. Maybe, the cold air blowing us from side to side is what makes us stay inside with one another, remembering all the wonderful, or even difficult, memories that lead to your growth and eventually your Harvest?

The great thing about seasons and our hearts is that we have a God who helps us navigate them. Invite him into your heart, he made it, I’m sure he could show you the way.

Navigating Fall:

• What moments of fall do I enjoy? Activities, candles, reading, walks? What moments of fall make you feel alive? 

• Do you have something you’ve grown in the past few months that you would consider a Harvest? If so, what would you say it is? How has the Lord used your harvest for his good the past few weeks?

• Do you have leaves that you’re scared to let go of, or do you have leaves you want to fall off, but seem to have a tight grip? If so, write them out to understand them. Ask God why these leaves won’t fall or why they have to. 

• Go ahead and surrender those falling leaves to the Lord now that understand the weight of them a little more. You can set down the heavy things, they do not go unnoticed to him. It may be possible for you to do this in a moment, but it may also take a few days or weeks. Some trees turn faster than others.

• What other ways have you seen the Lord's goodness in the past few weeks? When we feel heavy, it’s good for us to remember how God has been faithful to us before. This isn’t to blind us from this weight we’re carrying now, it’s just to remind us of the fact that he will do it again and that this season isn’t wasted.

Fall Practices:

• Read a book you’ve read before but want to dive into again. 

• Write down the beauty in things you might have overlooked before. What caught your eye today and caused you to sit and reflect for a few moments?

• Light a candle. It’s just fun and fall to do sometimes and makes the room feel warm.

• Go for a walk and look at the trees. Pick up one leaf to keep. 

• Enjoy coffee with a friend and talk about your harvests.

• Bake something. This slows down our minds and gives us something to focus on when we might be overwhelmed by the feelings of fall. 

• Listen to Seasons by Hillsong because it’s just really good.

• Always invite the Lord into those moments, he wants to be present with you if you let him. When you do, he’ll open your eyes to the beauty of this season. He will show you things like you’ve never seen before, he’ll help you understand your heart and fill the spaces where old leaves have fallen.

Seasons of the Soul

Seasons: "each of the four divisions of the year (spring, summer, autumn, and winter) marked by 

particular weather patterns and daylight hours, resulting from the earth's changing position 

with regard to the sun.” 

I wonder a lot about the purpose for seasons. Mainly Fall and Winter. They are dreary and cold and dead. What purpose could there be in that, dead things? The practical purpose for something dead is nothing much. It’s dead, what power could it possibly hold? 

When I think of death, I am reminded of things that are cold, and lifeless and dark. However, I’m also reminded of Jesus and how he brings them back to life. Or maybe they are things that need to be dead, things that need to be put to death, and he comes in and fills the space where they once sat.

I think about when they put Jesus on the cross and he died. There was not much practical purpose there. What this meant to the world, was that a good man was put to death and that was that. His followers were left to mourn, but in that cold season that lasted a total of three days, God was preparing the Earth for a harvest they were never expecting. This harvest was resurrection, new life. 

Something so interesting about seasons, is that they are constantly changing. You can never stay in one constant season. If I  choose an eternal springtime, I would see flowers and plants in full bloom all year long. However if I chose eternal springtime, I would never see plants ready for harvest. Nothing would ever be ready. There would be no harvesting my crop, because they would never be fully finished. There would be no enjoying the work I put into my harvest, and there would be no rest for my body or my heart.

There’s a very good reason that the Lord set the planets in motion the way he did. 

Physical seasons change based on results from the earth’s changing position with regard to the sun. 

Our hearts spiritual season changes based on results from our hearts changing position with the Son. 

We all go through spiritual seasons. A spiritual Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall. 

They are all important, just as physical seasons are as well. 

These are just my thoughts navigating me through these seasons and I felt like they should be shared.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 “There is a time for everything, and everything on earth has its special season.”

Take Me Back To The Greenhouse

- Take me back to the greenhouse, 

I’m not ready for the garden. 

Lift up my roots from this poor soil,

Take take back to the greenhouse.

- In the palm of your hand, 

Place me where I’m sheltered from rain and wind,

Where roots can learn to grow again. 

The place where silence is a melody 

That small chirps and whispers can hum too.

- Where You Gardner can speak and I can listen.

A place where there’s no season,

But that of starting again. 

Being still and learning to sprout. 

- Gardener pull me about of these weeds, 

Out of the weather into a space away,

To the greenhouse.

- Just you and me together,

Teach me the beauty

Of slow growth and quiet strength.

I think we overlook the greenhouse sometimes and want to go straight to the garden. We want to grow and flourish with all the other little plants, but don’t want to sit quietly in the greenhouse and learn how to grow. We just want to grow and start right away, but that is simply not how it works. We cannot forget the importance of the greenhouse in this season. I think what is so special about the greenhouse is that we cannot take ourselves there, we must call out the Gardener, the tender of our soil and the pruner of our branches. We can’t get up and walk to the greenhouse, we have to be carried there by gentle and firm hands. The greenhouse is a place of surrender and we can’t forget to return there often. Don’t feel afraid to sit in the greenhouse for a while and listen to the Gardner, he wants to teach you to grow again. He doesn’t not shout at you to listen and to learn or to feel pain. He listens for the the quiet cry of surrender and carries you. Whatever it may be. In the greenhouse we can learn more about how to grow and bear fruit and serve others, more than we ever could in the garden on our own. The greenhouse is a beautiful place to be, I highly recommend it.